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anorexicbarbie

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anorexicbarbie
  • Town/Country : The Divide, What's Left Of USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 October 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 9582
  • Number of comments : 810
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About anorexicbarbie : If driving fast cars you like,
If low bars you like,
If old hymns you like,
If bare limbs you like,
If Mae West you like,
Or me undressed you like,
Why, nobody will oppose

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anorexicbarbie's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML

#12376423
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4729) - you deserved it (44018)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

#12237713
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12713) - you deserved it (27541)

On 08/01/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by tbeemcgeebee - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I was talking to a customer. She kept shaking her head "no" at everything I said. I asked what she was disagreeing with. She told me she has Parkinson's Disease, teared up, and asked to speak to my manager. FML

#12165853
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30639) - you deserved it (6396)

On 07/28/2010 at 1:38pm - money - by RWW (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (2347)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

#12097441
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17764) - you deserved it (5782)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (9802)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

#8765418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28198) - you deserved it (2700)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:07am - love - by SingleSara. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38694) - you deserved it (8816)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML

#8590845
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36559) - you deserved it (5789)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Pip (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

#8443667
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19840) - you deserved it (1772)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm - health - by corleon198425 - United States

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

#8443272
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20303) - you deserved it (3043)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by sexxibxmami - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

#8435501
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29818) - you deserved it (2896)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend got drunk and cheated on me. After I tried to talk to her about it, she dumped me. Not because she didn't like me anymore or that she liked the other guy, but because she felt "too guilty" and "wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes anymore." FML

#8400274
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (2538)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:58am - love - by Dumped (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

#8266626
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21649) - you deserved it (1818)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

#8169866
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (3033)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:52pm - misc - by pandabear - United Kingdom (Magherafelt)



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