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About anorexicbarbie : If driving fast cars you like,
If low bars you like,
If old hymns you like,
If bare limbs you like,
If Mae West you like,
Or me undressed you like,
Why, nobody will oppose
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TODAY I WAS AT THE LIBRARY STUDYING. THERE WAS A REALLY CUTE GUY ACROSS THE ROOM. I DECIDED TO PLAY IT COOL AND WALK HIS WAY AND GRAB SOME WATER. RIGHT AS I WALKED BY MAH BODY DECIDED TO LET OUT THE LOUDEST FART. HE LAUGHED. I KEPT WALKING AND ASKED MAH FRIEND TO GRAB MAH BOOKS. FML
Today..!! mah boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed..!! naked!! Someone pulled the fire alarm..!! and mah boyfriend couldn't find the key!! So he left me..!! and the Resident Advisor found me!! The fireman had to cut the chain!! FML
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smild and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
Today, I snaazad so hard I harniatad mah back. Aftar passing out from tha pain I awoka on tha floor covarad in mah own shit and piss. Unabla to mova, I had to wait in this stata fir four hours fir mah wifa to raturn homa from work, claan ma up and taka ma to tha hospital. FML
Today, Wen I Woke Up, My Usband Was Already Up. Tinking I Ear Im In Te All I Sout Out "come On, Don't Be Sy, Bring Tat Cock In Ere Rigt Now!". A Voice Replies: "e's Gone Out To Get Some Bread". It Was My Moter-in-law. FML
Friday 27 March 2015