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anorexicbarbie

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anorexicbarbie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 October 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10911
  • Number of comments : 810
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About anorexicbarbie : If driving fast cars you like,
If low bars you like,
If old hymns you like,
If bare limbs you like,
If Mae West you like,
Or me undressed you like,
Why, nobody will oppose

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anorexicbarbie's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128456) - you deserved it (7062)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said, "Is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" When I answered yes, he turned and walked out of the room. FML

#2693360
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52102) - you deserved it (6058)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by szinna (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML

#2655825
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45915) - you deserved it (6578)

On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - animals - by Jay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

#2328337
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7721) - you deserved it (80598)

On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75606) - you deserved it (8427)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30924) - you deserved it (78376)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (273441) - you deserved it (17640)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was pissed off. I kicked a soccer ball into my wall, and it bounced back, hit my head and knocked me into the wall behind me. My head hurts like hell. Even inanimate objects hate me. FML

#1448827
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16996) - you deserved it (58793)

On 04/29/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Cammy (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (210226) - you deserved it (11245)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

#1278797
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42339) - you deserved it (6281)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:53pm - misc - by NoFightResponse (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (485982) - you deserved it (29343)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees and her cruise ship fee. FML

#976819
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (185793) - you deserved it (12765)

On 04/14/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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