Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

annanonomus

Search for a member

annanonomus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 1720
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About annanonomus : What is greater than God and more evil than the devil? The rich need it, the poor have it, and if you eat it, you will die!

annanonomus's last visitors

nineteen99reneetlovesyouajax_unitedJonah171Ilovelife07ridder215aardvarkishf_alltheirlives

annanonomus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

annanonomus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12319) - you deserved it (47024)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12319) - you deserved it (47024)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12319) - you deserved it (47024)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

#5072943
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38976) - you deserved it (4888)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by shoelace18 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML

#5019794
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60530) - you deserved it (12064)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

#4945684
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42300) - you deserved it (12543)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the doctor about my bruised runners toes. She was inexperienced when It came to athletic injuries, so she googled my condition. I just paid to have her tell me exactly what I had already just googled before I left for my appointment. FML

#4879906
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37498) - you deserved it (3969)

On 08/28/2009 at 9:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17384) - you deserved it (43667)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

#4299524
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17891) - you deserved it (37996)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

#3933300
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15781) - you deserved it (34209)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:22pm - health - by torkx3 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

#3933300
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15781) - you deserved it (34209)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:22pm - health - by torkx3 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

#3861516
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68616) - you deserved it (7337)

On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's call the whole thing off." FML

#2730448
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8620) - you deserved it (41938)

On 06/08/2009 at 8:14pm - work - by Chipper (man) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

#2427571
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7983) - you deserved it (61517)

On 05/30/2009 at 8:48am - kids - by Jess (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

#1879175
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22796) - you deserved it (133738)

On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: