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Mobility
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Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25538) - you deserved it (15164)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24060) - you deserved it (3045)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37498) - you deserved it (3959)
On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25013) - you deserved it (3952)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (2604)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24306) - you deserved it (1900)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (1852)
On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33121) - you deserved it (2021)
On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31440) - you deserved it (1963)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31614) - you deserved it (2059)
On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39618) - you deserved it (2930)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, after a very heartfelt conversation with my mother, I promised her that I'd quit smoking. I walked in on her smoking my cigarettes an hour later. Her excuse was that she didn't want my money to have gone to waste. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19860) - you deserved it (2519)
On 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (2562)
On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States
Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29419) - you deserved it (2727)
On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (10108) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
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