andelizastrin

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andelizastrin

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 23929
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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andelizastrin's page activity

Visits<b>MrGodface</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 1:03pm<b>yourLifeIsMean</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:30pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 3:20pm<b>thiswildlife</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 2:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:25pm<b>joannelolz</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:55pm<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 3:32pm<b>EpycWynn</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 5:41pm<b>xx_serenity</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 6:24pm<b>magicdrummer47</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 2:16am<b>TheMoonMonkey</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:35pm<b>Hessian</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 8:21pm<b>miamisam</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:10pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:17am<b>nafur15</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 11:45pm<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 9:52pm<b>kendal</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 8:54pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:17pm

andelizastrin's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

andelizastrin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2009 at 1:16am / Canada / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

by GreenMonstR / 04/25/2009 at 1:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML

by porkieworkie / 04/21/2009 at 8:44am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

by filipinoclari808 / 04/16/2009 at 2:47am / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

by eun / 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

by StevieMe / 04/08/2009 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

by trashcanned / 04/06/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

by manlyman / 04/05/2009 at 9:32am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy