About amy397123 : I'm just here for the lol's.
People take things on this site far too seriously.
amy.omfg@hotmail.com
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34745) - you deserved it (3255)
On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37104) - you deserved it (9951)
On 07/24/2009 at 2:40am - love - by vanguardwiley (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53176) - you deserved it (5647)
On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22350) - you deserved it (47314)
On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43941) - you deserved it (1905)
On 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm - work - by justdoingmyjob (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11294) - you deserved it (35395)
On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said,"This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (9193)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55746) - you deserved it (9517)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58474) - you deserved it (3710)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59014) - you deserved it (30958)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (178002) - you deserved it (25399)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64359) - you deserved it (4192)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60751) - you deserved it (2758)
On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62422) - you deserved it (6822)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by Person (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (48786)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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