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Offline (the 04/16/2015 at 1:35am) | Search for a member
About amifaiyaz : I never know how to write these things.. pretty much a crazy cat lady in the making, I'm your everyday city girl living in the middle of a desert for a decade. FMLs make my mornings, right before I ride my camel to school.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML
Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML
Today, I'm a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting guy of about 30 gets on board with two huge bags. Worried, I keep an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML
Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015