Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

amifaiyaz

Search for a member

amifaiyaz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3395
  • Number of comments : 378
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About amifaiyaz : God, I never know how to write these things.. pretty much a crazy cat lady in the making and a madwoman to boot, I'm your everyday city girl living in the middle of a desert for the past 8 years.. FMLs make my mornings, right before I ride my camel to school. AMA :)

amifaiyaz's page activity

Visits<b>pantsman66</b> - 22 hours ago<b>thisguy184</b> - yesterday at 9:54pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:50pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:49am<b>ColbyGB</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:01am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 6:27pm<b>samfate</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:08am<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>Live4funny</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 8:42am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 11:20am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:53pm<b>screamtobeheard</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:01am<b>groovycrazyjoe</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 11:19pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 2:52pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:32pm<b>beach_boy1992</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 5:34am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 10:21pm<b>no_lungs</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 6:26pm

amifaiyaz's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of amifaiyaz's badges

amifaiyaz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16887) - you deserved it (1585)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

#20176354
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (10595)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16986) - you deserved it (42055)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

#20175516
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (1252)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22899) - you deserved it (3197)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43825) - you deserved it (12949)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23144) - you deserved it (5523)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27389) - you deserved it (5797)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6948) - you deserved it (31210)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15367) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (1938)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML

#20171204
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28330) - you deserved it (4340)

On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11504) - you deserved it (29112)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25404) - you deserved it (14289)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (2122)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: