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amifaiyaz

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amifaiyaz

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 November 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5969
  • Number of comments : 379
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About amifaiyaz : I never know how to write these things.. pretty much a crazy cat lady in the making, I'm your everyday city girl living in the middle of a desert for a decade. FMLs make my mornings, right before I ride my camel to school.

amifaiyaz's page activity

Visits<b>FleibenHolden</b> - yesterday at 8:18pm<b>18rhunt</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:28pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:10am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Jenra</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 11:25pm<b>codytallica</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 4:16am<b>stevenJB</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:04pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 2:46pm<b>justinccp</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 5:40am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 4:11pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:04pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:55am<b>pantsman66</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 5:07pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 7:32am<b>Ryiah</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:19pm<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:52pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:00pm<b>oufie20</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:26am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 2:54am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:01pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:19pm

amifaiyaz's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of amifaiyaz's badges

amifaiyaz's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39033) - you deserved it (4978)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48349) - you deserved it (9364)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

#20754112
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55678) - you deserved it (6579)

On 06/29/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41136) - you deserved it (2962)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35903) - you deserved it (3051)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51728) - you deserved it (3903)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50307) - you deserved it (13837)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

#20744693
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47706) - you deserved it (7040)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm - health - by SillyScotsman - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54737) - you deserved it (4465)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80921) - you deserved it (7386)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53620) - you deserved it (7873)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51600) - you deserved it (3675)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60067) - you deserved it (3928)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58735) - you deserved it (22908)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

#20741960
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53559) - you deserved it (3080)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by part time all the time - United States (Michigan)



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Wednesday 28 January 2015

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