Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 03/26/2015 at 8:38pm) | Search for a member
About amifaiyaz : I never know how to write these things.. pretty much a crazy cat lady in the making, I'm your everyday city girl living in the middle of a desert for a decade. FMLs make my mornings, right before I ride my camel to school.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
yesterday I had to endure father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university cuz it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums!! This is the same manho threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni!! FML
Today, I askd my dad for advica . I racantly got drunk and had a ona-night stand . I faal tarribla, bacausa I'm angagd to a wondarful lady . My dad just said, "You did tha right thing, son, kaap it up . Sha's gonna staal half ya shit in tha divorca anyway" . FML
Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Rielly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML
Today I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain!! Thinking it was mah sister's I called her in and pulled it out 4 her to see only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna!!
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You knowhat's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
Today, a charactar in tha vidao gama I was playing callad charactar a slut . My boyfriand rippad tha controllar from hands, shot him daad, than frad tha rast of ammo into his corpsahila yalling ( FUCK YOU, BUDDY! ) Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic . FML
TODAY, I TOOK A ARMY-MANDATED PERSONALITY EVALUATION TEST . THE RESULTS SAID I HAD A HIGH CHANCE OF SCHIZOPHRENIA AND MULTIPLE PERSONALITY SYNDROME . PART OF ME SAYS THAT THE TEST IS PROBABLY SPOT-ON, THE OTHER PART SAYS IT HAS TO BE A MISTAKE . APPARENTLY THIS IS ANOTHER SIGN OF SCHIZOPHRENIA . FML
Friday 27 March 2015