alunamoon

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alunamoon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 August 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 758
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alunamoon's page activity

Visits<b>BBY89</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 4:27pm<b>crash819</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 6:14pm<b>MilkyFilmz</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 3:46pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 12:09am<b>hotwheels19</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 6:59pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 12:49am<b>burz</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 2:14pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 8:50pm<b>apache316</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 4:18pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 12:32am<b>chickmagnet69420</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 11:08pm<b>Lostsoul5435</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:50pm<b>Squirrel1256</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 1:52pm<b>FalaFala</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 5:01pm<b>EriGemi</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 4:48pm<b>Starter</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 3:58pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 3:32pm<b>doodlecloud</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 2:15pm

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alunamoon's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML

by Michael D. / 08/25/2012 at 12:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

by solomantis / 07/30/2009 at 1:46am / Norway (Oslo) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

by lifesmells / 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

by badmom101 / 05/16/2009 at 7:26am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids