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Mobility
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Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (5113)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46876) - you deserved it (1915)
On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8179) - you deserved it (65020)
On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28490) - you deserved it (12714)
On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33902) - you deserved it (11768)
On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (4386)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32464) - you deserved it (2009)
On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (2590)
On 07/04/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by monquiqui (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33070) - you deserved it (2324)
On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States
Today, I shat out a staple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31592) - you deserved it (11582)
On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I shat out a staple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31592) - you deserved it (11582)
On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43565) - you deserved it (4164)
On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37915) - you deserved it (2538)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)
Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27913) - you deserved it (19746)
On 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by trev - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15790) - you deserved it (24262)
On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by why me -
Monday 17 June 2013
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