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accepted850

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accepted850
  • Town/Country : Atlanta, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 October 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 765
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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accepted850's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22235) - you deserved it (4712)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

#18745926
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (2941)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45076) - you deserved it (3117)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

#18524767
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28433) - you deserved it (5815)

On 12/16/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13308) - you deserved it (37030)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14649) - you deserved it (2629)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33633) - you deserved it (5841)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36288) - you deserved it (2825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35199) - you deserved it (4878)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

#18145406
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36938) - you deserved it (2711)

On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35205) - you deserved it (3033)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29149) - you deserved it (5021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38401) - you deserved it (3846)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

#17950170
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26034) - you deserved it (2400)

On 10/10/2011 at 4:29am - health - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (2684)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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