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Mobility
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Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21982) - you deserved it (973)
On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15426) - you deserved it (2992)
On 10/17/2012 at 1:16am - love - by Marie (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13936) - you deserved it (3034)
On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16203) - you deserved it (1376)
On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5633) - you deserved it (18942)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14652) - you deserved it (4968)
On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am beyond terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16788) - you deserved it (1175)
On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25670) - you deserved it (1859)
On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29113) - you deserved it (2133)
On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18967) - you deserved it (1450)
On 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18368) - you deserved it (2493)
On 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm - work - by izziegrl - Mexico (Mexico)
Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12783) - you deserved it (12779)
On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (1482)
On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15478) - you deserved it (6100)
On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21784) - you deserved it (3913)
On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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