accepted850

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Offline (the 08/29/2015 at 10:07pm)

accepted850

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 October 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3181
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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accepted850's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 1:17pm<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:06pm<b>trishmonster</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:56pm<b>alkerh</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:42pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 5:03pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 2:03am<b>brave_josh</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:02pm<b>alexasyddm</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 10:39pm<b>ProjectN69</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 1:17am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 4:44pm<b>kiskraze</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 6:29am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:11pm<b>GayMatt</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 9:52am<b>olpally</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 1:10am<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 6:10pm<b>Gwen_99</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 12:10am

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accepted850's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

by fucker43 / 06/02/2013 at 2:11am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Animals

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

by Mylifesucks / 05/23/2013 at 1:11am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

by crappingrapping / 05/21/2013 at 11:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 12:59am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML

by NYmets456 / 04/05/2013 at 12:25am / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.