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accepted850

Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 11:20pm) | Search for a member

accepted850

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 October 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1784
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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accepted850's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 1:17pm<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:06pm<b>trishmonster</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:56pm<b>alkerh</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:42pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 5:03pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 2:03am<b>brave_josh</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:02pm<b>alexasyddm</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 10:39pm<b>ProjectN69</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 1:17am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 4:44pm<b>kiskraze</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 6:29am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:11pm<b>GayMatt</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 9:52am<b>olpally</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 1:10am<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 6:10pm<b>Gwen_99</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 12:10am

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accepted850's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44444) - you deserved it (10221)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56839) - you deserved it (5524)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

#20813368
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59955) - you deserved it (6358)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

#20700580
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42816) - you deserved it (4310)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by fucker43 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65743) - you deserved it (18730)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56800) - you deserved it (7308)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46063) - you deserved it (2986)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56039) - you deserved it (4369)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27228) - you deserved it (39429)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50172) - you deserved it (11329)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50145) - you deserved it (7079)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39940) - you deserved it (8707)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63756) - you deserved it (3053)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML



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