accepted850

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Offline (the 08/29/2015 at 10:07pm)

accepted850

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 October 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3578
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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accepted850's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 1:17pm<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:06pm<b>trishmonster</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:56pm<b>alkerh</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:42pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 5:03pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 2:03am<b>brave_josh</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:02pm<b>alexasyddm</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 10:39pm<b>ProjectN69</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 1:17am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 4:44pm<b>kiskraze</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 6:29am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:11pm<b>GayMatt</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 9:52am<b>olpally</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 1:10am<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 6:10pm<b>Gwen_99</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 12:10am

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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accepted850's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 1:23am / United States / Work

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

by Kyle / 12/03/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health

Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 3:07pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

by Michelle / 10/17/2013 at 7:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

by sommmerrrr / 09/15/2013 at 12:12am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm / Thailand (Nonthaburi) / Geek

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

by Serum / 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

by Serum / 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy