About _streets_ : Hmm.. Do people even read this? I'm not really sure what to write in here but to further enlighten those of you who were intrigued enough either by my comment or my photo, here is a list of things that I quite like: Rugby, Hockey, system of a down, Snowmobiling, arctic monkeys, Quadding, Horror movies, Rottweilers, Jackass, Trucks, Reading, Zombies, winter, Whiskey, Gore, Lord Of The Rings, Step Brothers, Harry potter, Camping, slednecks, Red Hot Chili Peppers, UFC, Motocross, The Dudesons, Vodka, Nitro circus, The Oilers > 20 years young, Canaduh
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_streets_'s favorite FMLs
Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML
by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Ribbed for Her Disaster / 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by EmberLove / 01/17/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love
Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
by habassistant / 01/02/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by awkward. / 12/29/2012 at 10:50am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML
by hborkowski / 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy
by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love
- Today, I woke up to myself screaming and something furry jumping from my blanket and out through my… Today, on my first day as a home health care provider, I walked into my first clients house to find… Today, I realised just how many things I'm allergic to. In my school, you can choose from 3 meals…