Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

_streets_

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

_streets_

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 December 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3511
  • Number of comments : 314
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About _streets_ : Hmm.. Do people even read this? I'm not really sure what to write in here but to further enlighten those of you who were intrigued enough either by my comment or my photo, here is a list of things that I quite like: Apples, Music, Rugby, Hockey, Criminal Minds, system of a down, Horses, Snowmobiling, arctic monkeys, Quadding, Horror movies, Tae kwon do, Guitar, Art, My dogs (Rottweilers), Ice cream, Jackass, MGK, Trucks, Reading, Zombies, Sleep, winter, Makeup, Whiskey, lime green, I prefer Popsicle's to freezies, And pancakes to waffles. Gore, Lord Of The Rings, Step Brothers, Harry potter, Camping, Red dragon, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rob Dyrdek, Johnny Knoxville, UFC, Motocross, The Dudesons, Vodka, Nitro circus, The Oilers > 19 years young, Canaduh

_streets_'s page activity

Visits<b>munuxi</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:39am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:48pm<b>straightpride</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 9:07pm<b>TheKittyForces</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:21pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:25am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:21am<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:17am<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:38pm<b>jairc</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:00pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:30pm<b>gamerkz</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:51pm<b>DanboiRowe</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:37am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:04pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:03pm<b>Zaros</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:36pm<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:37pm<b>rjpye123</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:28pm<b>nightwings</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 3:54am

Liked!<b>straightpride</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:25am

_streets_'s FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of _streets_'s badges

_streets_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52038) - you deserved it (17667)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20357) - you deserved it (51085)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64497) - you deserved it (16381)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79826) - you deserved it (8245)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

#20464240
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40681) - you deserved it (5074)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50062) - you deserved it (4615)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

#20429745
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43535) - you deserved it (2776)

On 12/29/2012 at 10:50am - love - by awkward. (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34545) - you deserved it (2763)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41733) - you deserved it (8167)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42011) - you deserved it (6610)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (28457) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (4697)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22848) - you deserved it (1650)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13155) - you deserved it (41354)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: