About _Peppermint_ : This Is Just To Say
"I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold"
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Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
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On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
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On 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by SophieGray - United States (New York)
Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML
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On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
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On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I was mugged while on my way to the book store. I'd saved up for months to make a mega-purchase of study materials for my major, only for it to be taken away in a few seconds by some lowlife thug. FML
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On 03/01/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by chilegrande - United States
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
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On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML
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On 01/13/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9713) - you deserved it (40168)
On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after a fire alarm went off, everyone was going back into the building. I had never gone up the stairs before because I live on the 9th floor. As everybody was going back inside, I followed some guys right into their suite on the 1st floor, thinking it was the way to the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6738) - you deserved it (17481)
On 03/17/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by rawrrrr (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML
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On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML
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On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States
Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML
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On 12/10/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
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On 11/30/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Cpm (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML
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On 10/04/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32679) - you deserved it (13742)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Monday 17 June 2013
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