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_Chocoholic_

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_Chocoholic_
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 November 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 8771
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About _Chocoholic_ : Just ask! :)

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_Chocoholic_'s favorite FMLs

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

#305736
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64695) - you deserved it (26097)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

#303227
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21116) - you deserved it (75148)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Bamamomma01 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All the ellipticals are up against a wall so after trying to pick it I finally decided to just pull down the back of my pants and underwear. I then remembered there was a window to a yoga class behind me. I mooned them all. FML

#296408
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8826) - you deserved it (43742)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by MikeyPeters - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128590) - you deserved it (19247)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240667) - you deserved it (36566)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, I just finished having dinner with my boyfriend, so I leaned over to him and said seductively, "How about some dessert?" Obviously, he didn't catch my tone, because he then looked at me and said, "Babe, you really don't need it." FML

#274634
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62831) - you deserved it (8152)

On 03/11/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by marshmallowssss (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

#260982
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26880) - you deserved it (83095)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

#243465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40243) - you deserved it (17036)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML

#234874
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53295) - you deserved it (8485)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by bu09 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52467) - you deserved it (16904)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22125) - you deserved it (36027)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

#194587
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64047) - you deserved it (16516)

On 03/03/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by asdfasdf - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML

#187356
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41998) - you deserved it (11549)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by himtopia19 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After saying my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last words. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

#159138
51 comments


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