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  bankrupt  |  38

I thought the same thing, #2. So the OP was willing to start a 10-car pileup because his dog shit the car? Idiot. Further proof that dog owners are complete morons. Who else would want an expensive crap machine that needs to be walked in all kinds of weather or it will shit and piss in the house?

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  Heliol  |  38

Has it occurred to anyone that maybe the driver was busy focusing on the dog and had to slam on their brakes to avoid hitting something in front of them? I know if I suddenly saw my dog having diarrhea in the backseat I would be worried and distracted for a bit. Sometimes people lose concentration and something happens that makes them slam on the brakes to avoid hitting something, or someone. Although, to be fair, the OP is too vague about this very important issue.

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  Heliol  |  38

Important to the story btw, not to anything too meaningful unless it's because they totally ran over a motorcyclist at a stoplight or something... >.> Failblog anyone? ;D

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  DaveOnDope  |  27

My answer for #76: I would always shit and piss in my litterbox before climbing into the cab of my truck! I stopped being a trucker when truckstops wouldn't meet my demands to always have litterboxes and ZigZags available for wandering kittens like myself. I'm no longer a kitten, but have used up six of my lives in booze and drug soaked debaucheries. I received my AARP members kit yesterday in fact. And my catnip grows green, tall, and powerful! I got my original catnip seeds from a gentleman named Jack Herer (rip) one of the few times he was hanging around my home. And for #86: Today is between yesterday and tomorrow. But it is always time for a nap.

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  DaveOnDope  |  27

Okay, seriously. When leaving a loading dock, sometimes a trucker will pull forward a ways and hit the brakes. If things crashed in the trailer, just back right up again and make them fix their mistake. Now if you haven't done so yet, go the fuck to bed!

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  DaveOnDope  |  27

Jack was a real treat to meet! He dropped in on me twice. The first time I called my friend that ran the local head shop at the time and told him if he wanted to meet Jack he should get to my place quick! He laughed at me! So I talked Jack into doing a drive by the store on his way out of town. I heard later Jack walked in and told my friend he better not ever doubt me again, and walked right back out again! (at first) Heeeeeeeeee!

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  DaveOnDope  |  20

Never trust an email address or phone number given clear out in public! Twenty five years ago geeks LOVED putting out YOUR info, but always protected our own. So, if your phone number is out in public, expect calls from the Royal Banc of Nigeria. Same thing with email addresses. Sixteen years ago I poisoned my own websites with code that would feed unknown web crawlers tens of thousands of bad email addresses.

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  aardvarkish  |  15

If you're going to use such an overused pun, at least have the snap to be the first to use it on the given FML, or the decency to just reply with "Ditto" under the person who did use it first, in the case, comment #1.

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  shaaayyee  |  15

when I commented, I thought I was first. if you would look at the time of the first few comments posted, you would see that they're all posted at the same time. jeez, lighten up.

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  KingDingALing  |  15

That's not the only problem here. You said "ZING" at your own joke. You don't do something like that when you make a joke. You suck at making jokes. Go run head-first into your TV.

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  docscientist  |  15

It's not a zinger if it's fucking stale and moldy. And puns aren't necessarily stupid, genius. These awful 'situation' jokes bomb as badly as The Situation at the roast.

By  odexy  |  29

Uh, why the fuck would you hit the breaks? Did you think your dog would magically stop shitting itself? Hell, you could have caused an accident like that.

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  deaper  |  24

Well.... SOME dogs like it... but I had a dog once that would pee in the floor whenever he even THOUGHT he was gonna have to get in the car! And more than once he pissed IN the car… Including one time he pissed IN the car while sitting IN the lap of my friend!

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