Zwische

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Offline (the 06/18/2015 at 9:16pm)

Zwische

1Fucked!

Zwische
  • Town/Country : Barver, Germany
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 September 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2996
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zwische : I'm the one with the white T-shirt~

Kamehameha! :D

Zwische's page activity

Visits<b>allisurd</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 12:25am<b>Howardthegoose</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 4:51pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 5:48pm<b>qdawg06</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 9:14am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 10:26pm<b>shksha22</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:34am<b>wyverntail</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:59am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:49am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:53pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:48am<b>ben12114</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:53pm<b>coconutbones</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 8:31am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 3:23am<b>JakeAndCake</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:15am<b>duchi425</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 10:35pm<b>HaleyH_</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:40am<b>Giuls</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 11:22am<b>JohnnyBoy711</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 1:23am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 11:48pm

Zwische's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Zwische's badges

Zwische's favorite FMLs

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

by Missy / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

by WOCOACH / 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

by Curt / 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

by notsexy / 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

by Dirtyswede / 06/17/2009 at 10:57am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

by mcullen21 / 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML

by ohmyx3 / 04/29/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

by hyper12332 / 04/29/2009 at 10:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Love