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Zwische

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Zwische

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 September 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2216
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zwische : I'm the one with the white T-shirt~

Kamehameha! :D

Zwische's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:53pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:48am<b>ben12114</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:53pm<b>coconutbones</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 8:31am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 3:23am<b>JakeAndCake</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:15am<b>duchi425</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 10:35pm<b>HaleyH_</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:40am<b>Giuls</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 11:22am<b>JohnnyBoy711</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 1:23am<b>OhHeySara</b> - the 08/14/2012 at 6:05pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/29/2011 at 12:25am<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 8:18pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:27pm<b>DoveOrHawk</b> - the 03/03/2011 at 12:45am<b>Twi_lover_EC</b> - the 02/27/2011 at 7:05pm<b>fluffingclouds</b> - the 02/10/2011 at 6:25pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/10/2011 at 3:42pm

Zwische's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Zwische's badges

Zwische's favorite FMLs

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (4939)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39006) - you deserved it (3997)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59246) - you deserved it (15275)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48927) - you deserved it (2208)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37118) - you deserved it (4046)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38737) - you deserved it (4408)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59179) - you deserved it (8782)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66953) - you deserved it (15325)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49843) - you deserved it (7809)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49926) - you deserved it (21144)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140179) - you deserved it (10019)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

#1877566
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55740) - you deserved it (13604)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML

#1475433
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68206) - you deserved it (9013)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by ohmyx3 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64278) - you deserved it (29155)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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