Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zestus

Search for a member

Zestus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9660
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.

Zestus's page activity

Visits<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - yesterday at 5:05am<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:50pm<b>TheEnforcer</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:33pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm<b>DomiLove</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Juiceman105</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:23pm<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:20pm<b>tim_narnimee</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:47am<b>adelinchen3</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:23am<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:34pm<b>27inch</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:00pm<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:38pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 7:35am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 6:35am<b>Shmizlish</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:35am<b>phew</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:53am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:38am<b>smurfnipples44</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:41pm

Zestus's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Zestus's badges

Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a key finder that responds to loud, high-pitched, annoying tones. It beeps every time I talk. FML

#18760166
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10378) - you deserved it (17168)

On 01/09/2012 at 8:30pm - misc - by annoying (woman) - United States

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19096) - you deserved it (38053)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

#18710808
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27129) - you deserved it (7716)

On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

#18705552
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41573) - you deserved it (3966)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26703) - you deserved it (20727)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41774) - you deserved it (8935)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (2653)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17319) - you deserved it (3215)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (5118)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (5118)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

#18624814
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8111) - you deserved it (33392)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

#18617290
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6980) - you deserved it (32246)

On 12/26/2011 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13418) - you deserved it (34718)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13418) - you deserved it (34718)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (4026)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: