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Zestus

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Zestus
  • Town/Country : Boston, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8183
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
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Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19017) - you deserved it (37901)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

#18710808
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26985) - you deserved it (7700)

On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

#18705552
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41376) - you deserved it (3954)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26550) - you deserved it (20632)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41590) - you deserved it (8920)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21277) - you deserved it (2646)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17211) - you deserved it (3204)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (5113)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (5113)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

#18624814
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8062) - you deserved it (33178)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

#18617290
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6939) - you deserved it (32123)

On 12/26/2011 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13364) - you deserved it (34595)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13364) - you deserved it (34595)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23254) - you deserved it (4017)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML

#18586943
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26571) - you deserved it (2348)

On 12/23/2011 at 5:53am - love - by johncabbot25 (man) - Canada



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