About Zestus
Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning Hi.
Zestus - Followers
Zestus - Followed
Zestus's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • One ring to rule them all

    You submitted an FML, that was subsequently published, and statistically this makes you an exceptional person.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
    33%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    59%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    51%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    14%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    24%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    2%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    3%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    33%
The list of badges to find
Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML

By Off to Canada - / Wednesday 16 March 2016 07:48 / Hong Kong - Kowloon

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

By shitfaced - / Friday 18 September 2015 17:30 / Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML

By anonymous - / Sunday 13 September 2015 15:34 / Luxembourg

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

By nityasomaiya - / Saturday 16 May 2015 05:34 / Australia - Sydney

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

By Anonymous / Friday 6 March 2015 03:19 / United States - San Francisco