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Zestus

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Zestus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 18934
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.

Zestus's page activity

Visits<b>Lachen36</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 5:51am<b>muncherofice</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 7:52pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:54pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:54pm<b>andv888</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:37pm<b>PixelKat</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:54pm<b>DazzaStephens</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:17pm<b>fireburnspeople</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:24pm<b>Cookrule5</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:10pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:29pm<b>FuckingLifeMan</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:12pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 9:03am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:02am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:33am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:20pm

Zestus's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Zestus's badges

Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32081) - you deserved it (6449)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (36863)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (36863)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

#19222051
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31218) - you deserved it (9873)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Alfie4 (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36341) - you deserved it (5439)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

#19204484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9637) - you deserved it (30607)

On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (3452)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

#19144549
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10618) - you deserved it (31538)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by wobble... - Australia

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13191) - you deserved it (39972)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29281) - you deserved it (8752)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23734) - you deserved it (27319)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36324) - you deserved it (6737)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33443) - you deserved it (3231)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

#18956321
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28231) - you deserved it (8613)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

#18859925
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18329) - you deserved it (38039)

On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland



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