Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zestus

Search for a member

Zestus
  • Town/Country : Boston, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8048
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.

Zestus's last visitors

3051628Beatlemaniac815raphannemmaflaketriplebeeroxjobbogamerChantihawkeyepeirce

Zestus's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Zestus's badges

Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

#6850
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13637) - you deserved it (42206)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

#5133
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (3277)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:49am - love - by murphy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

#4489
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60245) - you deserved it (5125)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19341) - you deserved it (9483)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

#3203
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4091) - you deserved it (25115)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46646) - you deserved it (6387)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5449) - you deserved it (23032)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

#2899
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27738) - you deserved it (8704)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

#2831
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9574) - you deserved it (23663)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14819) - you deserved it (65967)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36226) - you deserved it (8882)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36226) - you deserved it (8882)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me that my feet smell. He was in the next room at the time. FML

#2293
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you deserved it (6351)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:04am - love - by sadass - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

#2177
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5597) - you deserved it (20991)

On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

#2165
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4190) - you deserved it (25866)

On 01/22/2009 at 9:38am - misc - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: