Zestus

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Offline (the 08/22/2016 at 2:19pm)

Zestus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 21507
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.

Zestus's page activity

Visits<b>Lachen36</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 5:51am<b>muncherofice</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 7:52pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:54pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:54pm<b>andv888</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:37pm<b>PixelKat</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:54pm<b>DazzaStephens</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:17pm<b>fireburnspeople</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:24pm<b>Cookrule5</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:10pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:29pm<b>FuckingLifeMan</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:12pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 9:03am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:02am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:33am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:20pm

Zestus's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Zestus's badges

Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

by N / 02/08/2009 at 3:04am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

by Noname / 02/06/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

by parishiltonsbff / 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

by thermos / 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

by murphy / 02/02/2009 at 5:49am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

by anonymous / 02/01/2009 at 5:53am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

by FractalSanity / 02/01/2009 at 3:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

by kittydead / 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

by karma / 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

by hypebeast / 01/28/2009 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

by ottawaaa / 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

by embaressed / 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous