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Zestus

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Zestus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 18961
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.

Zestus's page activity

Visits<b>Lachen36</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 5:51am<b>muncherofice</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 7:52pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:54pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:54pm<b>andv888</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:37pm<b>PixelKat</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:54pm<b>DazzaStephens</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:17pm<b>fireburnspeople</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:24pm<b>Cookrule5</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:10pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:29pm<b>FuckingLifeMan</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:12pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 9:03am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:02am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:33am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:20pm

Zestus's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Zestus's badges

Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML

#121656
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45278) - you deserved it (18370)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:01am - intimacy - by secret123 - United States

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90858) - you deserved it (6202)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (59944)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16083) - you deserved it (65897)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60218) - you deserved it (5620)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52403) - you deserved it (8424)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said "sorry I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

#38126
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44909) - you deserved it (3986)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:59pm - intimacy - by Mr. Hopeless (man) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23814) - you deserved it (52597)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML

#24461
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16782) - you deserved it (30441)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15196) - you deserved it (32647)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying 'Come over and do me.' He never responded. FML

#21094
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46685) - you deserved it (11754)

On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by noneofthesex (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

#19641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11240) - you deserved it (42581)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML

#14836
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28686) - you deserved it (4048)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by KaLa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (5079)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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