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Zestus

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Zestus
  • Town/Country : Boston, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8053
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
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Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15211) - you deserved it (52142)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13587) - you deserved it (57970)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53871) - you deserved it (5066)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42739) - you deserved it (7102)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said "sorry I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

#38126
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37172) - you deserved it (3311)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:59pm - intimacy - by Mr. Hopeless (man) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18275) - you deserved it (44492)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML

#24461
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12836) - you deserved it (25065)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10276) - you deserved it (23324)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying 'Come over and do me.' He never responded. FML

#21094
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39386) - you deserved it (9926)

On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by noneofthesex (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

#19641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8422) - you deserved it (37076)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML

#14836
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23283) - you deserved it (3483)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by KaLa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21283) - you deserved it (4477)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

#11697
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72976) - you deserved it (15863)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

#6894
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4809) - you deserved it (26687)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by parishiltonsbff (man) - United States (California)



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