About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67070) - you deserved it (13486)
On 02/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4671) - you deserved it (26052)
On 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by parishiltonsbff (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12722) - you deserved it (36839)
On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)
Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23339) - you deserved it (2602)
On 02/02/2009 at 5:49am - love - by murphy - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56124) - you deserved it (4761)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15932) - you deserved it (8727)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3930) - you deserved it (24269)
On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41185) - you deserved it (5329)
On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4832) - you deserved it (21118)
On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (8435)
On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9392) - you deserved it (22924)
On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12391) - you deserved it (54101)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States
Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (6956)
On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (6956)
On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend told me that my feet smell. He was in the next room at the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10207) - you deserved it (4643)
On 01/23/2009 at 7:04am - love - by sadass - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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