About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35373) - you deserved it (14118)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:01am - intimacy - by secret123 - United States
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
I agree, your life sucks (73646) - you deserved it (4393)
On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13889) - you deserved it (46862)
On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11670) - you deserved it (48471)
On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)
Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12756) - you deserved it (43087)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by AppoKing (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48493) - you deserved it (4332)
On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40570) - you deserved it (6412)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said "sorry I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33347) - you deserved it (2846)
On 02/13/2009 at 4:59pm - intimacy - by Mr. Hopeless (man) - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17229) - you deserved it (39977)
On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11055) - you deserved it (20946)
On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10006) - you deserved it (22919)
On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying 'Come over and do me.' He never responded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (8697)
On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by noneofthesex (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (33759)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19445) - you deserved it (2860)
On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by KaLa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17852) - you deserved it (3811)
On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
