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Zestus

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Zestus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10646
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.

Zestus's page activity

Visits<b>Olliebob1619</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:54pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:05am<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:50pm<b>TheEnforcer</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:33pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm<b>DomiLove</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Juiceman105</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:23pm<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:20pm<b>tim_narnimee</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:47am<b>adelinchen3</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:23am<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:34pm<b>27inch</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:00pm<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:38pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 7:35am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 6:35am<b>Shmizlish</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:35am<b>phew</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:53am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:38am

Zestus's FML badges

Socialite

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Zestus's badges

Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

#3658638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40639) - you deserved it (9050)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by RR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

#3646272
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58445) - you deserved it (3790)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

#3646272
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58445) - you deserved it (3790)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54060) - you deserved it (2805)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I fart. FML

#3414580
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41133) - you deserved it (7808)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11210) - you deserved it (50155)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11210) - you deserved it (50155)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

#3252753
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56644) - you deserved it (2967)

On 06/26/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Chedder (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41502) - you deserved it (5318)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48854) - you deserved it (20773)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

#2928893
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (3949)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML

#2903114
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14340) - you deserved it (88099)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:42am - love - by gabe8 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I was on the deck of a sailboat and I started feeling seasick. I bent over the edge to throw up. After I stood back up, the wind changed direction and the boon swung around, knocking me into the open ocean. FML

#2640814
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39068) - you deserved it (4067)

On 06/05/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by Timmay (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118610) - you deserved it (6587)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)



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