About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33864) - you deserved it (2725)
On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9150) - you deserved it (17086)
Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18409) - you deserved it (4264)
On 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26569) - you deserved it (6408)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States
Today, I went to my first ever job interview, in a totally stressed out state. The employer's first question was: "What's your name?" I forgot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14247) - you deserved it (6520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8986) - you deserved it (12947)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21305) - you deserved it (6894)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48304) - you deserved it (2257)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24714) - you deserved it (2554)
On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States
Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11979) - you deserved it (3020)
On 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15524) - you deserved it (2909)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24019) - you deserved it (1740)
On 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by HighasaCloud (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13728) - you deserved it (17606)
On 04/22/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by stoggie96 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28757) - you deserved it (2216)
On 04/22/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by Capteen (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
