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Zestus

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Zestus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12033
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.

Zestus's page activity

Visits<b>Gman555</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Olliebob1619</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:54pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:05am<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:50pm<b>TheEnforcer</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:33pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm<b>DomiLove</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Juiceman105</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:23pm<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:20pm<b>tim_narnimee</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:47am<b>adelinchen3</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:23am<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:34pm<b>27inch</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:00pm<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:38pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 7:35am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 6:35am<b>Shmizlish</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:35am<b>phew</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:53am

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37642) - you deserved it (2920)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44989) - you deserved it (5042)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44989) - you deserved it (5042)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33869) - you deserved it (11061)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32288) - you deserved it (2075)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31577) - you deserved it (2232)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML

#17924214
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31073) - you deserved it (3009)

On 10/06/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by stacyyvonne - United States (Florida)

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

#17910752
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22693) - you deserved it (7545)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10337) - you deserved it (34338)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

#17880810
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39411) - you deserved it (5084)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Patricia - United States (Texas)

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

#17880683
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27145) - you deserved it (10625)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm - kids - by kewtness_17 - United States (Texas)

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

#17880531
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31760) - you deserved it (4181)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

#17877097
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (5489)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35831) - you deserved it (11837)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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