About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
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Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16904) - you deserved it (29284)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14364) - you deserved it (26866)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33219) - you deserved it (7653)
On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)
Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12199) - you deserved it (53704)
On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21975) - you deserved it (3450)
On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36725) - you deserved it (2617)
On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36725) - you deserved it (2617)
On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)
Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21972) - you deserved it (7898)
On 10/15/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by dak-rod423 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24859) - you deserved it (3923) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30862) - you deserved it (2108)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37713) - you deserved it (3809)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37713) - you deserved it (3809)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26219) - you deserved it (8064)
On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (1742)
On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (1924)
On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 17 June 2013
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