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Zestus

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Zestus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 18971
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.

Zestus's page activity

Visits<b>Lachen36</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 5:51am<b>muncherofice</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 7:52pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:54pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:54pm<b>andv888</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:37pm<b>PixelKat</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:54pm<b>DazzaStephens</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:17pm<b>fireburnspeople</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:24pm<b>Cookrule5</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:10pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:29pm<b>FuckingLifeMan</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:12pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 9:03am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:02am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:33am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:20pm

Zestus's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Zestus's badges

Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60935) - you deserved it (8938)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47292) - you deserved it (8312)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I learned how much it hurts to put a mint up your nose. FML

#18187794
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6706) - you deserved it (52871)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:14pm - misc - by farhia97 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML

#18159889
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38685) - you deserved it (15209)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Sidney (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

#18126270
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36068) - you deserved it (4651)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26988) - you deserved it (16530)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19080) - you deserved it (34019)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19080) - you deserved it (34019)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (5433)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36202) - you deserved it (8517)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

#18086799
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38210) - you deserved it (8611)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (48717)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML

#18078650
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37930) - you deserved it (4373)

On 10/26/2011 at 3:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

#18078526
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45529) - you deserved it (4366)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by Darcy (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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