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Zestus

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Zestus
  • Town/Country : Boston, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8052
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
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Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

#18126270
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30761) - you deserved it (4184)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22570) - you deserved it (15018)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15997) - you deserved it (29444)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15997) - you deserved it (29444)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22317) - you deserved it (4415)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (7694)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

#18086799
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (6184)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21298) - you deserved it (43085)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML

#18078650
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32870) - you deserved it (3849)

On 10/26/2011 at 3:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

#18078526
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38479) - you deserved it (3724)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by Darcy (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (29053)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML

#18065493
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18890) - you deserved it (3152)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39423) - you deserved it (18404)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

#18047257
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10381) - you deserved it (36166)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)



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