About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
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Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21761) - you deserved it (4378)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (5964)
On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27623) - you deserved it (6125)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States
Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18467) - you deserved it (32234)
On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (2944)
On 10/26/2011 at 3:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34349) - you deserved it (2921)
On 10/26/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by Darcy (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (28679)
Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (2208)
On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18438) - you deserved it (3105)
On 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34877) - you deserved it (14434)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (26258)
On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12386) - you deserved it (44364)
On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14436) - you deserved it (42787)
On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14310) - you deserved it (41031) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16903) - you deserved it (29283)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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