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Zestus

Offline (the 06/24/2015 at 10:24am) | Search for a member

Zestus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16412
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.

Zestus's page activity

Visits<b>Cookrule5</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:10pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:29pm<b>FuckingLifeMan</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:12pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 9:03am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:02am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:33am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:20pm<b>Gman555</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Olliebob1619</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:54pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:05am<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:50pm<b>TheEnforcer</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:33pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm<b>DomiLove</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Juiceman105</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:23pm<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:20pm

Zestus's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Zestus's badges

Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12036) - you deserved it (56611)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30239) - you deserved it (3905)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, "Community" was pulled from its mid-season lineup, with plans to hopefully put it back on the schedule at some unknown time. It will probably be canceled. Meanwhile, "Whitney" is still on the air and doing fine. FML

#18253650
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23529) - you deserved it (6932)

On 11/15/2011 at 5:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

#18244836
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24811) - you deserved it (3331)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

#18244771
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24649) - you deserved it (3931)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:23am - misc - by jocksblow - United States

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16150) - you deserved it (55223)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27791) - you deserved it (2093)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML

#18229715
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (4338)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
473 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41299) - you deserved it (3196) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19332) - you deserved it (79904)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19332) - you deserved it (79904)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

#18207765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23870) - you deserved it (5769)

On 11/10/2011 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59331) - you deserved it (8741)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59331) - you deserved it (8741)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43971) - you deserved it (7946)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)



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