Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zestus

Offline (the 06/24/2015 at 10:24am) | Search for a member

Zestus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16434
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.

Zestus's page activity

Visits<b>Cookrule5</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:10pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:29pm<b>FuckingLifeMan</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:12pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 9:03am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:02am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:33am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:20pm<b>Gman555</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Olliebob1619</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:54pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:05am<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:50pm<b>TheEnforcer</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:33pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm<b>DomiLove</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Juiceman105</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:23pm<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:20pm

Zestus's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Zestus's badges

Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14889) - you deserved it (37464)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (4333)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML

#18586943
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31556) - you deserved it (3079)

On 12/23/2011 at 5:53am - love - by johncabbot25 (man) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

#18586470
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28326) - you deserved it (5165)

On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

#18586179
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30940) - you deserved it (3210)

On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

#18585718
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (9215)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by badidea - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

#18585273
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16610) - you deserved it (20970)

On 12/23/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML

#18583606
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7706) - you deserved it (31017)

On 12/22/2011 at 10:02pm - animals - by steve - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (5481)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML

#18557355
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25448) - you deserved it (6488)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by BKCK4187 - United States

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33429) - you deserved it (6455)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

#18550622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42710) - you deserved it (4258)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19860) - you deserved it (16252)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, the cute guy in my class asked if I wanted to come over to his house to "study" on Saturday for our finals. I went to his house expecting a good time. He actually wanted to study. FML

#18534413
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11376) - you deserved it (48705)

On 12/17/2011 at 8:30am - love - by SuperCoolGurl (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (2662)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: