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Zestus

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Zestus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10988
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.

Zestus's page activity

Visits<b>Olliebob1619</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:54pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:05am<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:50pm<b>TheEnforcer</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:33pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm<b>DomiLove</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Juiceman105</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:23pm<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:20pm<b>tim_narnimee</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:47am<b>adelinchen3</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:23am<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:34pm<b>27inch</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:00pm<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:38pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 7:35am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 6:35am<b>Shmizlish</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:35am<b>phew</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:53am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:38am

Zestus's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Zestus's badges

Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41745) - you deserved it (11868)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69891) - you deserved it (7856)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42757) - you deserved it (12497)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47330) - you deserved it (4879)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43744) - you deserved it (6097)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41788) - you deserved it (15695)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

#20537800
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31098) - you deserved it (8302)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20501) - you deserved it (59927)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

#20536683
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (5353)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25602) - you deserved it (10885)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (36053)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia



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