Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zenma

Search for a member

Zenma

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 November 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13494
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Zenma's page activity

Visits<b>JellyJace</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 3:18pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 11:22am<b>pooboos</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:58pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:00pm<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:19am<b>TheComedyAudio</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 5:07pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 12:28am<b>sarah1024</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:35pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 5:16am<b>DaBomb1997</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 9:20am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:53pm<b>FoxOnTheStreet</b> - the 08/14/2010 at 5:15pm<b>mare_88</b> - the 04/25/2010 at 9:10am<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 04/25/2010 at 6:33am<b>_microwaveable_</b> - the 02/28/2010 at 1:30am<b>drainyou123</b> - the 02/17/2010 at 4:13pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 02/11/2010 at 8:09pm<b>crowingfml</b> - the 02/09/2010 at 5:19pm

Liked!<b>JellyJace</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 9:18pm

Zenma's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Zenma's favorite FMLs

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53118) - you deserved it (23661)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65199) - you deserved it (12769)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71571) - you deserved it (12552)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

#3129056
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49542) - you deserved it (2937)

On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11662) - you deserved it (111195)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read "you can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML

#2992603
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88967) - you deserved it (4825)

On 06/18/2009 at 11:08am - intimacy - by larvagirl23 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73092) - you deserved it (5403)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94857) - you deserved it (20018)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns £10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59861) - you deserved it (3106)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108637) - you deserved it (4858)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108637) - you deserved it (4858)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML

#2734791
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13621) - you deserved it (50909)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66433) - you deserved it (6346)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14329) - you deserved it (84166)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: