Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xtraxt

Search for a member

Xtraxt
  • Town/Country : U.S.A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 February 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 130
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Xtraxt's last visitors

thisguy184JessicaRenee95KaylaMarie00Kar0sweet0cheekssavageeeeearrrrrlennieMiachelaAnnthesnypist8Angel14494JustBeingAwesome

Xtraxt's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Xtraxt's badges

Xtraxt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35408) - you deserved it (4248)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40984) - you deserved it (2717)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25765) - you deserved it (37125)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

#20837089
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53421) - you deserved it (4844)

On 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by NewBride (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57018) - you deserved it (6358)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56200) - you deserved it (6634)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77789) - you deserved it (3223)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20241) - you deserved it (2543)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15866) - you deserved it (58089)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

#12095964
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6693) - you deserved it (33078)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:06am - health - by one_BAMF - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone gave me 13 dollar bills. I rejected one because I'm very superstitious about the unlucky 13. Later, I waited half an hour in the car for someone to bring me exactly 1 dollar because I did not have enough for the parking fee. FML

#12088821
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5836) - you deserved it (54536)

On 07/24/2010 at 5:56pm - money - by onedollar (man) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37750) - you deserved it (2611)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

#2252019
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10335) - you deserved it (51629)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Tyler_Padgett (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21114) - you deserved it (220796)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: