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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Xrandomkrisx

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Xrandomkrisx
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 January 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2204
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Xrandomkrisx : Hello there!
I'm Kristopher. I'm nice i guess... and uh I love music and i like to play music!i play the bass guitar. I'm into Indie/Folk Music. For example Bright Eyes! i like to meet new people so if you want to talk message me!

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Xrandomkrisx's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (14401)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085 (510)

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (7475)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (77457) - you deserved it (9245)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

#6421239 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (23531) - you deserved it (2803)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

#3146320 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (137020) - you deserved it (19611)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85937) - you deserved it (50898)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863 (544)

I agree, your life sucks (142154) - you deserved it (12677)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167940) - you deserved it (51054)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (737596) - you deserved it (60970)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104 (986)

I agree, your life sucks (48703) - you deserved it (274080)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (528)

I agree, your life sucks (141676) - you deserved it (53026)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)