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X_Stillwaiting_X

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X_Stillwaiting_X
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 July 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 283
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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X_Stillwaiting_X's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16553) - you deserved it (40067)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32154) - you deserved it (3036)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

#13045440
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you deserved it (5871)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:57am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

#13045293
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24340) - you deserved it (9206)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25370) - you deserved it (6603)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

#12616520
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49202) - you deserved it (2733)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Jordid - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

#12463694
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33275) - you deserved it (7508)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:54pm - intimacy - by oumalina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39106) - you deserved it (12907)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

#12405087
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (3741)

On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML

#12304319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36047) - you deserved it (3485)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

#12231290
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23476) - you deserved it (15637)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (46071)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23486) - you deserved it (38477)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14691) - you deserved it (4007)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)



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