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Wulf0123's favorite FMLs
by KillMeNow / 06/06/2011 at 2:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by quickfingers100 / 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm / United Kingdom / Work
by aarone23 / 06/01/2011 at 9:30am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML
by chickennbenchpress / 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, it was the last day of school. My students shared what they thought of me. Expecting to hear wonderful things, all of their complaints can be summed up in a few words: I'm a liar, a killer of dreams, I need to grow up, and I was a big disappointment to them. I'm a first-year teacher. FML
by sashimieater / 05/30/2011 at 9:59pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work
Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML
by thiswouldonlyhappentome / 05/30/2011 at 8:33pm / Aruba / Animals
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me give her a foot massage after she had a long day at work. Halfway through, she fell asleep. Wanting to see how ticklish she actually was, I started to tickle her feet. She then kicked me straight in the nuts whilst sleeping. FML
by anon80214 / 05/30/2011 at 3:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by OopsKid / 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm / France / Miscellaneous
by trev / 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
by kingpin9219 / 05/30/2011 at 12:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Username / 05/29/2011 at 12:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Fuckit / 05/28/2011 at 1:51am / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
by diddlebuag / 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Brilliant... / 05/25/2011 at 1:44pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous
Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML
by dumbteacher / 05/23/2011 at 10:35am / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to… Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the… Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last…