Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Waffle817

Search for a member

Waffle817
  • Town/Country : Crowley, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 February 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 7223
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Waffle817 : Im interesting and love the outdoors

Waffle817's last visitors

swampbaby985KingBoy100shaelynn2013o0artisha0ofbaddict17sugarnspiceeelysium_lit

Waffle817's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Waffle817's favorite FMLs

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

#17000180
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34561) - you deserved it (11891)

On 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47048) - you deserved it (14876)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML

#16996053
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33755) - you deserved it (9864)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anna - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

#16982648
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10285) - you deserved it (55029)

On 07/05/2011 at 3:06am - love - by eatmywords (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

#16980520
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9150) - you deserved it (64458)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my neighbor and I learned why fireworks are illegal in city limits. This lesson was learned shortly after a roman candle came crashing through my second story window. FML

#16980502
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (7186)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML

#16977432
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27356) - you deserved it (5563)

On 07/04/2011 at 8:25pm - misc - by brittbrat4 - United States

Today, I got cock-blocked by the laundry. My boyfriend was the one who wanted to do laundry. FML

#16972353
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21146) - you deserved it (3142)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

#16972351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24325) - you deserved it (11789)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by hero to zero - United States (New York)

Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML

#16967772
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25674) - you deserved it (2045)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:13am - animals - by emegemerald - United States

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

#16966151
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39366) - you deserved it (3147)

On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33851) - you deserved it (5011)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

#16963316
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26482) - you deserved it (7685)

On 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by siannacasey - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss fired me for dating a co-worker. There's no policy forbidding it; he just thought it was unfair that I could get with the "hottest girl who works here" but he can't. I live in an at-will employment state. FML

#16960895
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (2717)

On 07/03/2011 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23073) - you deserved it (9827) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: