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VonBlitzkrieg

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VonBlitzkrieg

18Fucked!

VonBlitzkriegVonBlitzkrieg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 April 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1575
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VonBlitzkrieg : I frequent this site to laugh at your misery. This site has taught me two things: 1. Cats are assholes. 2. You can't trust hobos.

Me personally, I am a die-hard metalhead, I play guitar, I speak Spanish, plenty of German, tons of Italian, and I just picked up French. Also, I'm atheist, and I love muscle cars. Did I mention I vape? I vape.

I can see who checks out my profile. I'm flattered.

VonBlitzkrieg's page activity

Visits<b>kyletg09</b> - 9 hours ago<b>am1717</b> - yesterday at 11:45am<b>ActWithLove</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 5:45pm<b>cj89898</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:19pm<b>brwneyes</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:10am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:26pm<b>rrrrranda</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:27am<b>BlueDinosaurs22</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 5:39pm<b>Crazion</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:28pm<b>DeMamp</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:25pm<b>terrorwatt</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 3:49am<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 12:21am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 5:03pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 4:26pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 3:18pm<b>mrray</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 2:57pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 2:42pm<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 1:48pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:26am<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:48pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Girlshotdown1</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:59am<b>Hans182</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 1:29pm<b>radApple</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 10:56am<b>C_Celine_101</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 5:57pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:49pm<b>Wsparta</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 9:05am<b>weirdmaster25</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:25am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 9:42pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Aruquience</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:46pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:48pm<b>ThatOneGirl2020</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:05am<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:05pm

VonBlitzkrieg's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of VonBlitzkrieg's badges

VonBlitzkrieg's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML

#21519742
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (1530)

On 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my parents installed spyware on my computer after reading an article about teens ordering drugs from the deep web. Now I'm too afraid to watch porn because I don't want my parents to know when I'm jacking off. FML

Today, while I was taking a shower, my boyfriend came into the bathroom to ask me a question. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted with a horrifying cutout of Michael Jackson. I fell backwards, shattering the glass shower door. I needed stitches. FML

Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML

#21517614
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20515) - you deserved it (3224)

On 01/20/2016 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by Garfield - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

#21515791
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20904) - you deserved it (3618)

On 01/16/2016 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found $20 under my car seat, so I put it in the cup holder, only for it to fly out of the window while going down the highway. FML

#21503317
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19382) - you deserved it (11127)

On 12/13/2015 at 3:04pm - money - by ehcanadianeh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

#21500058
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26242) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, due to the incompetence and apathy of my lab partners, I have to write a 12-page lab paper by myself. A 12 page lab paper about radishes. Radishes. FML

#21498242
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (1824)

On 11/29/2015 at 4:10pm - misc - by quinndulgent - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

#21496646
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22958) - you deserved it (2259)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor called me a lucky bastard and said he heard me getting my wife off last night. I was too ashamed to admit the sounds he was referring to were from my 17-year-old daughter after a wasp flew through her bedroom window. FML

#21496628
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (2199)

On 11/25/2015 at 10:50am - kids - by ashamed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, on my way back to work after lunch, my airbags deployed at a stop sign. FML

#21490921
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22365) - you deserved it (1563)

On 11/10/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

#21488023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/03/2015 at 5:06pm - love - by Wtf -

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

#21482431
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36044) - you deserved it (2315)

On 10/21/2015 at 12:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML

#21481486
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24658) - you deserved it (7495)

On 10/18/2015 at 3:18pm - work - by RIPcareer - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML

#21475461
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16030) - you deserved it (21847)

On 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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