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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 April 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1419
  • Number of comments : 183
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VonBlitzkrieg : I frequent this site to laugh at your misery. This site has taught me two things: 1. Cats are assholes. 2. You can't trust hobos.

Me personally, I am a die-hard metalhead, I play guitar, I speak Spanish, a bit of German, a bit of Italian, I'm atheist, and I love muscle cars.

I can see who checks out my profile. I'm flattered.

VonBlitzkrieg's page activity

Visits<b>hasooon</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 5:18pm<b>balnuaimi</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:23pm<b>Cheezits4dayz</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 9:19pm<b>XDemetriX</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:02pm<b>metallica_wins</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 1:36pm<b>C7</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 5:20pm<b>clairehenn</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 2:21pm<b>YeezusPraiseThem</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 8:02am<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 4:45am<b>kukumber</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 10:05pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:15am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 10:39am<b>blazeitrabbit</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Girlshotdown1</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 10:58pm<b>Martinv9</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 6:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:38pm<b>hockeyy27</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:03am<b>Tmbrwolf675</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:53am

Fucked!<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Girlshotdown1</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:59am<b>Hans182</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 1:29pm<b>radApple</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 10:56am<b>C_Celine_101</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 5:57pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:49pm<b>Wsparta</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 9:05am<b>weirdmaster25</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:25am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 9:42pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Aruquience</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:46pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:48pm<b>ThatOneGirl2020</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:05am<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:05pm

VonBlitzkrieg's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of VonBlitzkrieg's badges

VonBlitzkrieg's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14456) - you deserved it (19754)

On 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my neighbor pointed to me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23283) - you deserved it (6321)

On 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my ex-fiancée's new boyfriend phoned me to ask what her ring size is. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (1623)

On 09/06/2015 at 8:50am - love - by Anon - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29921) - you deserved it (2321)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (2482)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35087) - you deserved it (4881)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50447) - you deserved it (14349)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52274) - you deserved it (5995)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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