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About Vampireking : I'm in the US Army, love to work on cars, and where I live one of the only pass times is partying nonstop :). Message me if you want to.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21233) - you deserved it (1652)
On 02/27/2010 at 11:07am - work - by Anon - United States
Today, my parents bought a new car with the money they made from selling mine. To make up for selling my car without telling me, they let me choose the make, model, and colour of the new car... which I just found out I'm not allowed to drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18157) - you deserved it (1338)
On 02/27/2010 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, a guy at work told me to "relax dude", all day long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you deserved it (3856)
On 02/24/2010 at 7:57pm - work - by Herman - Sent from mobile version
Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16210) - you deserved it (3791)
On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)
Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12369) - you deserved it (1834)
On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I chuckled at a "no smoking' sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and lit my hair on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2956) - you deserved it (39092)
On 02/18/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by kaycie_lynn (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16441) - you deserved it (2178)
On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)
Today, I got a call from the police saying they found my stolen car. Not only did I not know my car was stolen, but it was completely stripped. No tires or doors left, and the engine was taken apart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17236) - you deserved it (1172)
On 02/16/2010 at 4:37am - money - by troyrm85 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14700) - you deserved it (3598)
On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)
Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (2343)
On 02/15/2010 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11905) - you deserved it (3389)
On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5432) - you deserved it (22775)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11505) - you deserved it (1985)
On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18901) - you deserved it (2067)
On 02/14/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Samson (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19503) - you deserved it (3055)
On 02/12/2010 at 9:14am - love - by JustMyLuck (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
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