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UpsideDownTurtle

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UpsideDownTurtle
  • Town/Country : Hamilton, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 384
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About UpsideDownTurtle : I like turtles

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UpsideDownTurtle's favorite FMLs

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11630) - you deserved it (51472) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

#19347272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24351) - you deserved it (1923)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (17378)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12282) - you deserved it (46543)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

#19164002
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (4637)

On 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by baconandkittens (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (2644)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

#19046933
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (1927)

On 02/11/2012 at 8:41am - kids - by FuckLife (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6827) - you deserved it (48513)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (8628)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

#18561350
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22970) - you deserved it (4228)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

#18495546
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34390) - you deserved it (3696)

On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30120) - you deserved it (2676)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8731) - you deserved it (67993)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

#18422045
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21193) - you deserved it (2482)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by sugarbeet - United States (Minnesota)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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