About UnikornG33K : Music, radio, concerts.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (1869)
On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29806) - you deserved it (2647)
On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, one of my employees complained of B.O. wafting into his work space. As a joke, I created an anonymous survey online asking everyone if they had showered in the last 30 days, and sent it out. Half of them put "Yes", the other half put a variation of "I can't afford to shower on my salary." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7501) - you deserved it (19248)
On 02/14/2013 at 7:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19356) - you deserved it (7468)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9508) - you deserved it (37759)
On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33767) - you deserved it (3262)
On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26833) - you deserved it (3496)
On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32768) - you deserved it (1965)
On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24080) - you deserved it (3456)
Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (5547)
Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20599) - you deserved it (12239)
On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8476) - you deserved it (23934)
On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)
Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36122) - you deserved it (2958)
On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (21614)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25659) - you deserved it (2803)
On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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