UnikornG33K

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Offline (the 07/20/2015 at 8:23am)

UnikornG33K

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 15261
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About UnikornG33K : Music, radio, concerts.

UnikornG33K's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of UnikornG33K's badges

UnikornG33K's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

by freakedout / 08/08/2014 at 10:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

by alisaav / 08/08/2014 at 3:40am / Thailand / Love

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

by poolfail / 08/06/2014 at 5:14pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

by Oldhouse / 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

by AylaMarie92 / 07/21/2014 at 5:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

by murrrrf / 07/21/2014 at 1:30am / United States (Missouri) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

by someonepleasehelpme / 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

by Is that..? / 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

by guriak / 07/13/2014 at 9:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals