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UnikornG33K

Offline (the 03/29/2015 at 6:34am) | Search for a member

UnikornG33K

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 10905
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About UnikornG33K : Music, radio, concerts.

UnikornG33K's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of UnikornG33K's badges

UnikornG33K's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching an pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42324) - you deserved it (6257)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59480) - you deserved it (12567)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today...hile sitting on mah front porch... mah cat cummd up beside me. I startd idly stroking her... only to turn an realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45374) - you deserved it (8478)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my nieghbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40396) - you deserved it (6135)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dacidd to bring down a vary old fan from tha attic. I pluggd it in, and as soon as I turnd it on, tiny spidars wara blown all ovar my room. fat FML

#21206028
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47210) - you deserved it (16995)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, My Grlfriend Was Feeling Down Cuz She Has Putted On Some Weight. I Tried To Make Her Feel Better By Showing Her I Can Still Pick Her Up. I Can, An I Was Even Able To Hide The Fact That I Shat Myself Doing It. I'm So Romantic. Real FML

#21200680
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53102) - you deserved it (8248)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at looool grandparent's funeral, we were waiting 4 te pastor. He was fasionably late because e couldn't find is sunglasses an ad gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39500) - you deserved it (2955)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head fir spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards!! It wasn't until he dramatically screamed an dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter!! FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (44166)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after leaving mah mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person fir not saying goodbye to mah sister when I left !! The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog !! mega FML

#21192815
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40622) - you deserved it (4354)

On 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today , mah son looool got a beating. Apparently , he went to a club , waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo , then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Thier boyfriends , not too surprisingly , didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43093) - you deserved it (6145)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Taday I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school , when out of nowhere a brd smashed into the windshield !! Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me , my daughter started laughing , eventually calling the brd a ( stupid bastard ) !! FML

#21190484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46298) - you deserved it (8338)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is ( only one creator ).

#21189976
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41560) - you deserved it (4223)

On 06/27/2014 at 2:11am - work - by IAMALITAHA (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I ad to bite te bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML

#21188382
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36611) - you deserved it (23090)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Roy Lawson - United States (California)

today my boyfriend informd me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently... not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

#21188342
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41219) - you deserved it (5538)

On 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs" . Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52325) - you deserved it (16897)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)



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