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UnikornG33K

Offline (the 06/23/2015 at 11:29pm) | Search for a member

UnikornG33K

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 12255
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About UnikornG33K : Music, radio, concerts.

UnikornG33K's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of UnikornG33K's badges

UnikornG33K's favorite FMLs

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (5709)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I'm so broke that I had to call in sick to work because I couldn't afford to pay my bus fare. FML

#21260606
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41432) - you deserved it (4914)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:38am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45846) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48407) - you deserved it (4003)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53398) - you deserved it (10750)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42633) - you deserved it (5145)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35705) - you deserved it (3437)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (7295)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50637) - you deserved it (9210)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55419) - you deserved it (5642)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38418) - you deserved it (6031)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40714) - you deserved it (2924)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

#21236316
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39478) - you deserved it (8432) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2014 at 12:28am - animals - by Muwz - Sent from mobile version

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML



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