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Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (1933)
On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17028) - you deserved it (45929)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11437) - you deserved it (42765)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)
Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13022) - you deserved it (27238)
On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60514) - you deserved it (5773)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32081) - you deserved it (4810)
On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34354) - you deserved it (3685)
On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26922) - you deserved it (2195)
On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21231) - you deserved it (1883)
On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (1614)
On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26913) - you deserved it (4037)
On 03/24/2013 at 11:56am - kids - by Gixie (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)
Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41537) - you deserved it (1957)
On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43535) - you deserved it (5148)
On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (14644)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38095) - you deserved it (1903)
On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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