About UnikornG33K : Music, radio, concerts.
UnikornG33K's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
UnikornG33K's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML
by Trainer Calypso / 11/27/2014 at 3:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I realised I was far too attached to my duvet. Literally. I just got a large tattoo on my back, and my duvet somehow stuck to my skin during the night and formed part of the scab. I now have the joy of deciding whether to tear it off fast or peel it away slowly. FML
by Dramori / 11/27/2014 at 11:30am / Health
Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML
by amazinghermit / 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Animals
by anonymous / 11/24/2014 at 10:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by liishax3 / 11/22/2014 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Animals
by UTRejected / 11/21/2014 at 8:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by That_Indian_Guy / 11/15/2014 at 8:25am / United States (Florida) / Work
by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
by notsofriendly / 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Purple / 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a paedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML
by Not A Pervert / 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Work
by noxiffic / 10/31/2014 at 8:31am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals