UnikornG33K

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Offline (the 07/20/2015 at 8:23am)

UnikornG33K

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 16161
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About UnikornG33K : Music, radio, concerts.

UnikornG33K's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of UnikornG33K's badges

UnikornG33K's favorite FMLs

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

by mszoe / 03/01/2015 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

by jojolee68 / 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 4:04am / Australia / Health

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

by sammy18f / 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

by headache / 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 11:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

by wife / 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

by WalkTheOtherWay / 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

by Soulara89 / 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after a few weeks of my dad setting up glue traps in the garage to trap mice, I found out what it's like to have a pigeon wander in and get its foot stuck on one. FML

by Axelerate / 12/04/2014 at 6:09am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.