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UnikornG33K

Offline (the 07/20/2015 at 8:23am) | Search for a member

UnikornG33K

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 12479
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About UnikornG33K : Music, radio, concerts.

UnikornG33K's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of UnikornG33K's badges

UnikornG33K's favorite FMLs

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29651) - you deserved it (3080)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (2521)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18786) - you deserved it (55604)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36346) - you deserved it (2420)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39174) - you deserved it (3444)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32396) - you deserved it (4787)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

#21360985
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (1914)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34610) - you deserved it (8281)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (6562)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
96 comments

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (4377)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43323) - you deserved it (3074)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a few weeks of my dad setting up glue traps in the garage to trap mice, I found out what it's like to have a pigeon wander in and get its foot stuck on one. FML



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