About UnikornG33K : Music, radio, concerts.
UnikornG33K's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
UnikornG33K's favorite FMLs
by parkoursam / 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by schoolsucks / 03/10/2015 at 7:28am / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML
by uglyshoegirl / 03/08/2015 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Josh / 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML
by pabj208 / 03/05/2015 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Work
Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML
by phishy / 03/05/2015 at 5:26pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML
by jlol / 03/05/2015 at 9:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health
by xXEmmaLieXx / 03/03/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML
by Mommycakes / 03/03/2015 at 8:14am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by soconfused / 03/03/2015 at 5:15am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Work
by dontplaywithmyfeelings / 03/02/2015 at 8:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Masift / 03/02/2015 at 12:06pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by kysier / 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML
by smalltownkid / 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, I got pizza on the way home from a night out after a few beers and not eating all day. I got… Today, my boyfriend tried to surprise me my climbing through my window into my room. To return the… Today, I finally finished the short story that is my last assignment of high school! I also found a…