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UnikornG33K

Offline (the 07/20/2015 at 8:23am) | Search for a member

UnikornG33K

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 12634
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About UnikornG33K : Music, radio, concerts.

UnikornG33K's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of UnikornG33K's badges

UnikornG33K's favorite FMLs

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26061) - you deserved it (2992)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I sent my long-distance boyfriend a heartfelt message about how much I missed him. He sent me back a picture of a Minion. FML

#21442865
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25339) - you deserved it (3215)

On 07/17/2015 at 3:04am - love - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24327) - you deserved it (4293)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (2466)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

#21441743
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (1932)

On 07/14/2015 at 9:04pm - work - by ineedaraise (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML

#21441553
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21827) - you deserved it (2272)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:59pm - kids - by Andrew - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML

#21441519
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22593) - you deserved it (1576)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27741) - you deserved it (2387)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29925) - you deserved it (3825)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23665) - you deserved it (11527)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38693) - you deserved it (2091)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

#21384435
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (2478)

On 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by oops (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22460) - you deserved it (8767)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

#21379134
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30836) - you deserved it (3151)

On 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by tobuscus9412 - Australia (New South Wales)



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