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UnikornG33K

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UnikornG33K

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 9702
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About UnikornG33K : Music, radio, concerts.

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UnikornG33K's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39023) - you deserved it (4350)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42291) - you deserved it (2991)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a few weeks of my dad setting up glue traps in the garage to trap mice, I found out what it's like to have a pigeon wander in and get its foot stuck on one. FML

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

#21306928
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35765) - you deserved it (3041)

On 11/27/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by Trainer Calypso - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realised I was far too attached to my duvet. Literally. I just got a large tattoo on my back, and my duvet somehow stuck to my skin during the night and formed part of the scab. I now have the joy of deciding whether to tear it off fast or peel it away slowly. FML

#21306764
65 comments

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

#21305532
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (5550)

On 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm - animals - by amazinghermit (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was in a good mood for once and my professor looks at me and says, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML

#21305482
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28488) - you deserved it (3218)

On 11/24/2014 at 10:25pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (8299)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30413) - you deserved it (3255)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (3094)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28371) - you deserved it (3335)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29649) - you deserved it (8027)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44072) - you deserved it (3852)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40257) - you deserved it (3424)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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