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UnikornG33K

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UnikornG33K
  • Town/Country : yyc, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5600
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About UnikornG33K : Music, radio, concerts.

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UnikornG33K's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (2068)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30313) - you deserved it (7111)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17770) - you deserved it (39890)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML

#21104621
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33086) - you deserved it (3167)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by kaheera4 (woman) - United States

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37811) - you deserved it (8622)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

#21100696
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31577) - you deserved it (3838)

On 03/31/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

#21098906
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35355) - you deserved it (3102)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

#21095295
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38889) - you deserved it (7430)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39746) - you deserved it (4499)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33016) - you deserved it (11058)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35799) - you deserved it (14224)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37457) - you deserved it (9925)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39902) - you deserved it (3960)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

#21076286
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33416) - you deserved it (7440)

On 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AlwaysAwkward - United States (Ohio)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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